I make fake online dating profiles and torture my ex via sites like okcupid. Call me a bitch, but we’re still friends and whenever he does something really douchey I get a real sense of accomplishment knowing when he goes back to his computer he’s getting rejected by a picture I pulled off of random facebook accounts…

When I was a teenager I was involved in an affair with my stepmother. When my father found out, he drowned himself in our pool and tried to take my step sister with him. All of which happened while I was in the middle of having sex with my stepmother.

I fucked a girl my best friend liked for 4 years, on his bed, the one weekend that he brought her up to try to make a move on her. I also came in 20 seconds and then never talked to her again.

I lost my virginity (I was drunk off my ass) behind a building of my church that was holding an AA meeting at that exact moment.

Back when I was still a professional musician, I met one of my biggest fans, he’d watched all my youtube videos, had all of my CDs, and was thrilled to meet me. In the course of the conversation I discovered that he’d murdered two men while he was organizing and taking part in a prison break. I consider him 100% justified. Yes, my biggest fan murdered 2 prison guards.

I am obsessively attracted to overweight women. I have not told a single person this, even online. Even though I am married , I constantly think about it and consider cheating to fulfill the desire.

I am legitimately attracted to fat women, I love them. The only problem is I’m black and I’d be known as the stereotype guy.

I’m so poor that I’ve kind of hoped my dad would die. It’s the only way I can imagine having some financial security.

I have a large very close group of friends. Two summers ago on a camping trip my best friends brother (good friend of everyone) came into the car that I was sleeping in, figured I was passed out drunk, and undid my pants/shirt and played with me for awhile. Fingered me, jerked off while playing with me and stuff. I was awake the whole time. I didn’t tell anyone. It was fucking hot.

I gave a girl herpes. She had multiple sex partners at the time and I never told her it was me.